September 2, 2018 – “Finding Your Love Language: Quality Time” by Rev. Cody Sandahl

Lay Reader = Hebrews 10:19-25
19 Therefore, my friends, since we have confidence to enter the sanctuary by the blood of Jesus, 20by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain (that is, through his flesh), 21and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22let us approach with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, 25not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Introduction
We are still in our series about finding our love languages in life and worship. Last week we looked at gifts, and how a good gift is a physical embodiment of your thoughtfulness toward someone. We talked about how we as a church could be a gift to God, as well.
This week we are looking at quality time. Last week we were dealing with my lowest love language, this week we’re looking at my highest. So this week I actually know what I’m talking about! No mental shopping lists this week!
To help us understand quality time, we are going to one of my favorite texts. This is right after Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit showed up in a blaze of fire. Peter just gave his big sermon to the people of Jerusalem. And three thousand people were baptized that day. So this text is how the hundred-or-so disciples incorporated three thousand new people who had never walked around with Jesus in the flesh.
I mentioned our mission statement last week – Rooted. Growing. Branching Out. This is the text that gives us that summary of the Christian life. See if you pick up the quality time in here.
Acts 2:42-47
42They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and signs were being done by the apostles. 44All who believed were together and had all things in common; 45they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, 47praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.
Undivided Attention
Did you catch it? The most important part of that text? In my humble opinion…<PHONE RINGS>. Oh, sorry, my phone is buzzing – just a sec. “Hey, I’m preaching a sermon right now. I’ll call you back later. Yes, I saw the latest news on the Texas Longhorns. I’ll be free in about an hour – 50 minutes if I hurry this up. Talk to you then.”
Sorry about that. As I was saying, the most important part of the text. In my humble opinion…<TEXT MESSAGE>. Oh, sorry, I got a text. Just hold tight for a moment. I’ll be right…back…with…you. OK.
Where was I? Oh yes, the most important part of the text. In my humble opinion…you know, I just noticed how shiny the organ pipes are now that they’ve been cleaned. Have you noticed that? Totally awesome! I think we were talking about something else, but I just wanted to point that out.
Now I’ve lost my place. Oh well, it must not have been important. But don’t worry. You and me? Totally quality time here!
You want to know how to drive a Quality Time person absolutely bonkers? Multitask while spending time with them. And then if you want to see a Quality Time person explode, interrupt them with your quick unrelated observation or the question you just remembered to ask them. If you are observant, you should be able to spot the anger or the resigned disappointment pass over their eyes.
Quality Time is all about focused, undivided attention. When I go out to eat with someone, I try to choose a spot where I can’t see a TV. Because even if I don’t care about what’s on, it draws my eyes away and distracts me. This goes double for going out to eat with my wife. Or if you’re on the couch next to someone, and you don’t care about the game that’s on TV but they do? Guarantee you that isn’t quality time. They’re having quality time with their team via the TV, not quality time with you.
The key to understanding quality time is to notice that it is two words. Not just time. QUALITY time. Not all time together is quality. Are you tracking with me?
If you have someone in your life who is a Quality Time person, how can you give them your undivided attention? Not half of your attention. Not even 90% of your attention. Your undivided attention. That’s what they’re craving.
Giving God Undivided Attention
And that undivided attention is what God craves as well. All over the Bible, God is referred to (or self-refers) as a jealous God. This isn’t jealous as in, “I’m so jealous of the stuff Jim has.” This is jealous in a Quality Time way – jealous for our undivided attention.
Jesus was definitely a Quality Time guy, too. He didn’t just walk around giving seminars and healings while you wait, he lived his life with his twelve disciples. He had deep friendships with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. And when he was staying with Mary and Martha and Martha was so busy getting the house ready for Jesus and his crew, Jesus said Mary was doing the better service by just sitting with him giving undivided attention.
God has every THING already. But what God craves and doesn’t have is our undivided attention. God chooses to allow us to direct our attention – even toward other things – but God craves our undivided attention. Think about that. You have something God wants. You have something Jesus wants. You have something the Holy Spirit wants. And it’s not in your bank account or wallet. It’s not in your inventory. It’s not covered by insurance. It’s in here (POINTS TO HEAD) and here (POINTS TO HEART). Your undivided attention. That’s what God is jealous for.
But how do we give God our any attention at all, let alone undivided attention? But lets’ back up and take a look at this text from Acts 2 for some guidance. How can we give God the one thing we have that he wants – our undivided attention?
Dialogue
One way we can give God undivided attention is with dialogue. Conversation. I bet most of you have been thinking about prayer as a way of giving God undivided attention, and you’re right. In v42, it says one of the things these 3000 new converts devoted themselves to was prayer. They also spent much time together in the Temple in worship. Those are the two most obvious ways of giving God attention – opening a dialogue or conversation with God through prayer and worship.
The Bible talks about God as our heavenly parent, and so I think dialogue makes sense as a way to give God undivided attention. Parents like to have dialogue, conversation, with our kids, right? But not all conversations are created equal. Caleb just started at a new preschool, and I asked him what he did. And remember, Caleb is the chatty one. But stated resolutely, “Nothing.”
“Nothing? You didn’t do anything today at preschool?”
“Nothing.”
“Did you go on the playground?”
“No.”
“Did you play with friends?”
“No.”
“Did you just sit in one spot all day while everyone else played?”
“Yes.”
Man, I thought I had until age 13 before that stuff started happening! Luckily that was just one day. Every other day he has been his usual chatty self when talking about school. But that conversation wasn’t exactly quality, right? Funny, but not really quality time.
Not all prayer time is quality time either. Not all worship time is quality time either. How can you give God your undivided attention in prayer and worship?
I actually don’t do well with the head bowed, hands clasped, classical prayer format. It very quickly turns from undivided attention to wander-y attention. Anyone else experience that? So I have learned other ways of giving God undivided attention. One pastor talked about prayer as thinking deeply about a topic with the Holy Spirit. I can do that. I can mull over a topic or something God has placed on my heart. I can roll a hard experience around in my mind while asking God where he is in the midst of it. That’s a form of prayer. And it works better for me than the classical format. We’re going to go way deeper on this at the spiritual retreat. Carol has some good stuff on prayer.
So dialogue or conversation through some kind of prayer, some kind of worship, whatever helps you communicate with and hear from God with undivided attention – that’s quality time.
Trusting Jesus
Another way to give God our undivided attention is to trust Jesus with our decisions. Acts 2 says those 3000 new Christians devoted themselves to the Apostles’ teaching. They were able to do things they couldn’t do before – wonders and signs. Instead of being selfish they became generous. Those are all ways that they lived differently because of their faith in Jesus.
Becca and I just saw the Mr. Rogers documentary, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor.” Anyone else seen it? If you haven’t, it’s just about out of theaters but I think it’s already available for rent and streaming. It’s worth your time. And they’re not even paying me to say that. I should look into that, though.
It’s a wonderful look at why Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was so different from every other kids’ show. Other shows were trying to entertain kids…and sell some merchandise on the side. But Fred Rogers didn’t just want the kids to spend time in front of the television watching him. He wanted them to be able to choose to live differently – and better – after watching his show.
Early on in PBS’ history it was about to get defunded by the government. And the senator leading the charge to defund PBS was listening to all the PBS advocates telling him why it’s worth funding. But he’s unimpressed. Then Fred Rogers tells him about his show. He wants kids to know that feelings are mentionable AND manageable. Everyone has choices they can make with their emotions. And he tells the senator the words to one of his songs – “What Do You Do With the Mad That You Feel?” The ending goes, “I can stop when I want to. Can stop when I wish. Can stop, stop, stop anytime. And what a good feeling to feel like this and know that the feeling is really mine. Know that there’s something deep inside that helps us become what we can. For a girl can be some day a lady. And a boy can be some day a man.”
And the senator replied, “Well I think that’s wonderful. Looks like you just earned that $20 million.”
Just as Fred Rogers hoped to give kids a better way to live when they watched his show, Jesus hopes to give us a better way to live when we trust him. We can choose how we respond and act in life. Our circumstances don’t control us if we take Jesus seriously. In fact, the Bible has its own version of that song from Fred Rogers, which isn’t super surprising since he was an ordained Presbyterian minister. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says it this way, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”
When we have faith in our heads, and love in our hearts, being the hands and feet of Jesus quickly follows. And whenever we trust Jesus with our decisions in life, that’s quality time with God.
Rooted Neighbors
The last way to give God undivided attention is by giving each other undivided attention. You remember how Jesus summarized the Bible itself? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments.” When we interact with each other in a God-honoring way, we are in fact honoring God.
In the text from Acts 2, it says they spent MUCH time together. They broke bread together – meaning they had meals in their houses together, not just at the church.
I haven’t really made this connection before until this week, but I also notice that they were together in a particular place. To go back tot hat tree analogy for faith, they had Rooted relationships with each other, but they were also Rooted in their very particular neighborhoods. That’s how they gained “the goodwill of all the people.”
They didn’t catch an Uber Donkey over the Peter’s house for church, get some lovely teaching, and then go back home for the week. They spent time together throughout the week. They were known in their very particular neighborhoods.
Last week I talked about our church as having the potential to be a shelterwood for our very specific area. If you don’t like all the tree imagery, you could also call that a neighborhood church. Becoming such a great neighbor, such a blessing in the name of Jesus, that the people who could walk to church here do. That’s when you’ve become a neighborhood church again. And I say “again,” because that used to be the case.
But we also have plenty of people who live too far away to walk here. Most of you, right?
Well what if that neighborhood church idea was something you did in your own neighborhood as well? What if you didn’t just drive to church for Bible study or book club or Circle? What if you gathered in your neighborhood as well? We have enough people at Windcrest Retirement Community that they gather on occasion, so this can apply in that phase of life, too.
As a church, I believe we are called to get to know the joys and concerns of this neighborhood so that we can be a blessing. As an individual, might Jesus be calling you to get to know the joys and concerns of your neighborhood so that you can be a blessing? If that sounds intriguing, let’s have coffee and we can spitball some ideas.
One of the stories I share about trees I think applies here. When we were visiting the San Francisco area we went to see the Redwood trees – big enough to drive a car through. But some of them were roped off with signs that said, “do not walk.” I asked a Park Ranger and found out that while Redwoods are 350 feet tall, their roots are only five or six feet deep. And just having enough people walk around their base can expose the roots and make the tree fall down.
But when two or three or four or a forest of Redwoods start interlocking their roots, they can withstand almost anything. I’m beginning to think that we as Christians need to have Rooted relationships – not just at church – but where we are planted in our own neighborhoods. I’m beginning to think that our particular place is important – not just friends around the city, but a forest of interlocking roots right near our homes.
How might Jesus be calling you to love your neighbor as yourself – right from your block? That’s quality time with God.
Summary
Sisters and brothers, we have one thing that God is jealous for, that God craves, that God doesn’t already have. One thing: our undivided attention. Quality time. When those 3000 new converts were joining the early disciples, they were shown how to have dialogue with God. How to trust Jesus with their decisions. And how to have Rooted relationships in their own communities. The early disciples thought those things were of utmost importance. Are they important to us as well? Amen.