January 2022

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First Reading = Ephesians 4:1-16

I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all. 7But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift. 8Therefore it is said, “When he ascended on high he made captivity itself a captive; he gave gifts to his people.” 9(When it says, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower parts of the earth? 10He who descended is the same one who ascended far above all the heavens, so that he might fill all things.) 11The gifts he gave were that some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, 12to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ. 14We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. 15But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.

Introduction

We are continuing our series about real relationships. We have learned how to accept ambiguity and focus on commonalities. This week we are going to talk about honesty and kindness. They are kind of a package deal, so we’ll take them together.

I have lived in Texas, where Southern hospitality sometimes makes kindness more important than honesty. If you hear, “Well bless your heart,” be prepared for a sugar-coated insult.

And I have lived in Pennsylvania, where honesty sometimes takes the form of bluntness without regard for kindness. “Lemme tell y’ens somethin!”

And here in Colorado, sometimes people avoid kindness and honesty by just saying, “Sorry, can’t talk, I’m headed to the mountains!” Every place has its quirks when it comes to honesty and kindness.

And the early churches had their quirks with honesty and kindness, too. We heard in our first reading from Ephesians the admonishment to speak the truth in love. Both things – speak the truth – and speak it in love. And our second text in Colossians has a similar message with just a little different flavor.

Sermon Text = Colossians 3:8-17

8But now you must get rid of all such things—anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth. 9Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices 10and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator. 11In that renewal there is no longer Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and free; but Christ is all and in all! 12As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 13Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. 17And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Kind Honesty

Well I have something to tell you. It’s a bit awkward, but here it goes. You’ve got something in your teeth. Has anyone had to tell you that?

My wife and I have been watching the show Ted Lasso, which is about an American college football coach who gets hired to run an English soccer team. He and his assistant Nathan are on their way to formal dinner, and Ted asks him, “Nate, I got somethin’ to ask you. Are you the kinda guy who wants me to tell him if he’s got somethin’ in his teeth?”

Nate replies, “Well yes, yes of course.”

And Ted says, “Great. Because that suit doesn’t fit you.”

“Oh…um…it’s my dad’s. I don’t have a reason to wear a suit much.”

So Ted smiles at Nathan and takes him to get a suit and pays for it.

And that is a fabulous example of kindness and honesty together. Ted first asked Nathan if he wanted to know potentially embarrassing but helpful honesty. He didn’t assume, he asked. Then he was honest instead of beating around the bush. And then he helped Nathan solve the problem.

That’s kind honesty! That’s speaking the truth in love, to use the phrase from our first reading today.

Our text from Colossians says it this way, “8But now you must get rid of all such things—anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth. 9Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices 10and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.”

There are three components in that section.

First, be kind. That means getting rid of anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language, to use the exact list from Colossians. The church needed to hear that list 2000 years ago. Do you think we still need to hear that list? Have we gotten rid of anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language yet? Probably not.

So if we speak from anger, we aren’t ready to be kind yet. If we speak from wrath – the desire to destroy – we aren’t ready to be kind yet. If we speak from malice – intentionally harming someone – we aren’t ready to be kind yet. If we speak slander or abusive language, we aren’t ready to be kind yet.

Second part of this text is to be honest. This one is pretty direct – “Do not lie to one another.” Lies can be actively committed. Lies can be by omission – leaving something critical out. Lies can be letting other lies or unkindness go without trying to speak truth in love. So be honest.

And the third part of this text is to model our daily behavior on that of Jesus Christ. The text says to strip off the old self and clothe ourselves in Christ. That means our model isn’t what’s generally accepted in our culture or church today. No, our model is the life and words and sacrifice of Jesus.

Tools for Kind Honesty

So I see a few tools we can use to cultivate kind honesty with our inner selves, with our visible actions, and with our audible words.

The first, easy tool we have for cultivating kind honesty is to copy State Farm. They have the discount double check to save money on insurance. We can have the Kind Honesty Double Check. I’ve heard Rick Warren say, “Just because you think it, doesn’t make it true.” So take a moment and double-check. Is what I’m about to say really true? Really? And you can double check your kindness, too. Am I granting myself or others grace? Am I about to be kind? Really? Am I about to be kind with my body and my tone and my words? Really? Do a double-check. We heard the list of things we should get rid of, but our text also gives us a list of things we should seek more of. “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other.” So do a double check against that list. That’s a very easy tool to cultivate more kind honesty.

For the second tool, let me share some wisdom from Greg Funfgeld, the traditional music director at my previous church. This was a big moment for me, so I want to give him credit. We were pretty disciplined about evaluating our big events and initiatives so we could learn and improve. We had goals ahead of time, and we evaluated ourselves against those goals.

But Greg said in one meeting, and I’ll never forget this, “We always spend our time talking about what went wrong. Can we spend some time talking about what went well?” So from that point on, I have used a simple framework for evaluating: let’s talk about our hits, our misses, and our “next times.” And let’s talk about them in that order. Start with the hits. Start with what went well. Then let’s talk about our misses, what could have gone better. And then let’s solidify those into the things we want to intentionally keep and the things we want to intentionally change for next time.

It is just as honest to highlight that something went well as it is to highlight that something could have gone better. Speaking honestly isn’t just telling someone when they have something in their teeth or their suit doesn’t fit. Speaking honestly is also telling someone when they look sharp in their suit or when they nail the speech or organize something well.

So the second tool is to intentionally speak honestly about what went well. Find the reasons to celebrate – and be just as disciplined about finding those good reasons as you are about noticing what should be better next time. Honestly celebrate the good. Don’t just honestly point out the bad. Our main text says it this way: “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.” Intentionally noticing the good is the second tool for cultivating kind honesty.

The third tool is to give yourself the grace to slowly improve and grow in kind honesty. You’re not going to get from where you are to how Jesus modeled in a lifetime, let alone thirty days from now. So take an honest look at the gap between your kind honesty and Jesus’ kind honesty. Be honest about the size of that gap. Look with clear eyes. But then be kind to yourself by just taking one step.

How can I be one step more honest with my family? How can I be one step more honest with myself? How can I be one step more honest at work? How can I be one step more honest?

And how can I be one step more kind with my family? How can I be one step more kind with myself? How can I be one step more kind at work? How can I be one step more kind?

Just take one step toward being more kind and honest. Shrinking it down to one step is the third tool for cultivating kind honesty.

Kind Honesty for FPCL

So let’s practice some of these tools. Let’s practice these tools by examining this church, this congregation, this pastor with kind honesty. We’ll get a chance to talk and listen much more at the annual meeting next week, but let’s get started today. Let’s set the stage for that speaking and listening next week by getting some kind honesty.

I think the weirdness of the last two years should give us a chance for fresh perspective. I think my sabbatical gave us a chance for fresh perspective. And I think Pastor Carol’s announcement of her retirement in March should give us a chance for fresh perspective, too. So let’s get another step toward kind honesty.

Before the pandemic, when people asked me if First Pres Littleton was growing or dying, I would always tell them we were staying about the same. I felt like we were reaching new people in our community at about the same rate that people moved out or found a different church or moved on to heaven. That’s how I honestly felt.

But it wasn’t true. When I did a double-check by looking at the worship attendance and membership numbers going back many years, it painted a different picture. We have actually been slowly shrinking during my time – about twenty members a year. And about half of that in average worship attendance shrinking each year. Just slow enough to not feel like a big problem, but just fast enough to be a big problem.

If we continue to lost about twenty members per year for various reasons, this church will be dead in thirteen years. If this church continues to be every bit as loving, every bit as serving, every bit as kind as it has been, it will need to book itself a spot in the Columbarium by the time my younger son is a senior in high school. That was a sobering double check. But a needed one.

But let’s use tool #2, finding the honestly good things. From everything I have heard, I believe this church responded and stepped up in a very admirable way when I was gone last summer for my sabbatical. Mary asked the congregation to step up and get engaged, and you did! We asked Lynda and Carol to work together to provide stable leadership during that time, and they did! I asked the church to invest in relationships while I was away, and with a game night and a summer music concert and reconnecting at worship, you did!

If you rewind further, do you remember when Carol was away for her one month sabbatical? Do you remember when Carol was away for a while with a broken hip I believe it was? When Carol had some extended absences before, the church stepped up! I asked the Deacons and neighborhood stewards to be even more involved, even more connected with their neighborhoods, even more willing to call someone or visit someone. And then let me know who needs or would appreciate a little extra outreach from me. And they did it!

We asked for blankets and you responded with a huge pile out there. We asked for people to get Christmas presents to fill those shoe boxes to send around the world, and you did it! We asked for people to fill backpacks with school supplies for kids who needed it, and you did it! We’re asking people to help fill welcome baskets for Afghan refugees resettling in our area, and I bet you’ll do it! I have confidence! That’s in your wheelhouse!

So we can honestly say that this church has the ability to respond, to step up as a group. It’s not one person doing it all, it’s a bunch of people doing it together. It’s the church being the church. That’s honestly good!

Alright, let’s use tool #3. Let’s get one step more honest and one step more kind. So let’s get more honest. With Carol retiring, does anyone here honestly think I’m going to be able to replace everything she has been doing? Honestly, I can’t do that. In fact, no one can. No…one…can.

But the Deacons and neighborhood stewards and people on care teams have demonstrated that they can…together. No ONE person is going to replace what Carol has been doing. But if more people step forward to be Deacons or to assist with pastoral care teams we can actually do even more than Carol has been doing. That’s not easy, but it’s possible. This church can do it! When it comes to your ability to care for each other, I believe in you! That’s honestly in your wheelhouse, too!

So taking one step forward would require more people who have been Deacons or neighborhood stewards or on care teams or maybe previously trained as Stephen Ministers to re-engage with caring for the people of this church. That’s one step forward.

I’m going to get risky here, though, let me talk about two steps forward. Risky, I know. But let’s see if we can find pavement instead of ice with this second step.

I’ll start this with kindness. It is very common and understandable when someone wants the pastor to be the one visiting them when they’re sick or struggling or recovering. I totally get that. Very common. Very understandable. Very relatable. I, like every pastor, am honored to walk with people through every phase of life.

Now for some honesty to go along with that kindness. When it only counts as a visit if it’s from the head pastor, that’s not biblical. If a Deacon visits someone in the hospital, and they say, “No one visited me” because the pastor didn’t arrive – that’s common and understandable but it’s also not biblical.

Did Jesus visit everyone? No. He sent his followers out two by two to minister in his name. Did that count? It sure seems like it counts in the Bible!

In the book of Acts, in chapter 6, when the early church was being formed, they started the first Deacon ministry. The disciples needed to focus on prayer and the ministry of the Word, so they picked out seven – not one, seven – people to focus on caring for the people in the church. Did it count when Stephen visited people instead of Peter? It sure seems like it counts in the Bible! Did it count when the disciples taught the Bible instead of Jesus doing it himself? It sure seems like it counts in the Bible!

In Jim Collins’ famous book, How the Mighty Fall, he talks about the five stages of decline. Remember what I shared about how this church has been actually shrinking, not staying the same. So think about where we are in these stages.

Stage one is hubris born of success – things are going well so you think you’re the best thing since sliced bread.

Stage two is undisciplined pursuit of more – we need more of everything! Even if it stretches us too thin in our core.

Stage three is denial of risk and peril. This is like the black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail refusing to admit that King Arthur cut off his arm.

Stage four is gasping for salvation – thinking there’s just one person, one key program, one miracle that will make everything better again!

And finally stage five is capitulation to irrelevance or death. It’s too late, it’s over.

I don’t think we’re that bad. Yet.

But we’re probably in late stage three – just realizing there’s real risk and peril. Thirteen years if we do what we’re doing! But the temptation from here is to gasp for salvation, to find the one magical person, to find the one silver bullet, the one new program to fix it all.

Ain’t. Gonna. Happen. That’s honesty.

But the kindness is that there’s hope. You exit the stages of decline, not by finding a savior or something totally new. Organizations typically exit the decline by recommitting to the core of what made them great to begin with.

This church has demonstrated a core competence of caring for each other. This church has demonstrated a core competence of creating meaningful and lasting relationships. This church has demonstrated a core competence of responding to needs in the community.

So I believe the answer is for the church to be the church. A pastor can’t be the church. It takes a whole church to be a church. So two steps forward would be for this church to awaken to its potential to be the church again. The staff can’t be the church. The staff can equip and organizing and multiply your efforts. But only you can be the church.

Jesus said the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. We have a lot of potential laborers for the harvest here. Many hands make light work. A little bit from a lot of people is more than any one person or two or three or four people can do. You can do this! You’ve done it before! You count! If you’re willing to step forward, you count!

Summary

Sisters and brothers, real relationships require kind honesty. Real relationships require speaking the truth in love. So I hope we will all cultivate more kind honesty by doing a double check, by noticing what’s honestly good, and by taking just one or two steps further.

Jesus rose again from the dead. He can raise you up in your life again. And he can raise up this church again, too. Amen.

View the Sermon

First Reading = Galatians 3:19-29

19Why then the law? It was added  because of transgressions, until the offspring would come to whom the  promise had been made; and it was ordained through angels by a mediator. 20Now a mediator involves more than one party; but God is one. 21Is the law then opposed to the promises  of God? Certainly not! For if a law had been given that could make  alive, then righteousness would indeed come through the law. 22But the scripture has imprisoned all  things under the power of sin, so that what was promised through faith  in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe. 23Now before faith came, we were imprisoned and guarded under the law until faith would be revealed. 24Therefore the law was our disciplinarian until Christ came, so that we might be justified by faith. 25But now that faith has come, we are no longer subject to a disciplinarian, 26for in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. 27As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is no longer Jew or Greek, there  is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all  of you are one in Christ Jesus. 29And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise.

Introduction

We are continuing our series about real relationships. Our goal is to give you the principles for relating with each other in love, decency, respect, and honesty. Last we talked about accepting ambiguity. We all have some marble and some wax. We are all ambiguous and complicated. Jesus loves us anyway. So we can accept ambiguity in our relationships.

This week we are focusing on commonalities. Jesus called his followers brothers and sisters and family. Can we see each other with those same eyes?

Our main text today is one of my favorites in the whole Bible. Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi includes this incredible second chapter which summarizes so much about being a follower of Jesus. If we relate with each other as Jesus related with us, we will find much in common.

Sermon Text = Philippians 2:1-11

2If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, 2make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. 5Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, 6who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, 7but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, 8he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death— even death on a cross. 9Therefore God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, 10so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Worth the Effort?

While I worked for my parents in various forms beforehand, my first non-family job was at the ripe old age of 14 when I was hired to code websites by a local designer. At the time there was pretty much one way to view a website: Internet Explorer 6. If you want to mess with your techy family and friends, go up to someone who was programming in the late 90’s and say “Do you remember Internet Explorer 6? That was the best browser!” And then watch them twitch! It’ll be fun…for you.

But then Firefox came onto the scene. And websites would look beautiful in Firefox and clunky and painful in Internet Explorer. And then Google Chrome added another way to view websites. And Apple made this thing called the iPhone – don’t know if you’ve heard of it. So then we had tiny screens to worry about.

And there were two basic ways to handle this problem of websites looking so different for everyone depending on how they were viewing it. One way was the cheap and easy way: put a written notice on your website that it should only be viewed one way. Internet Explorer 6 required!

The other way to handle it, which became the accepted standard, was to see your website on a lot of different browsers and devices and sizes of monitor. New ways of making websites were created to make them shape-shift. So on a big screen you see a big website. On a tiny phone, the menu shrinks down to a single button, and the images stack up vertically instead of sprawling out horizontally.

And that came down to a fundamental choice about what was the “right” way to view your website. What was worth the effort to make it work? The people who put notices that a certain browser was required? They thought their way was the only “right” way to be on the Internet. Theirs was the only way that was worth the effort. Everyone else was different and wrong.

The people who made new ways to make websites look good on lots of screens and devices? They saw all these different ways of viewing a website as worth the effort. It took more work. It took new technologies to let things shape-shift automatically. It took a while to get the hang of it. But now most websites work decently no matter how or where you’re viewing them.

You can go to a website on your phone or your tablet or your laptop or your home computer. You can use Windows or Mac or iOS or Android. If the developers and designers did their job, it will look different but good on all of those platforms. But that’s only possible because people decided it was worth the effort. Those different ways of being on the Internet mattered.

And early on, that wasn’t a guarantee. Early on, it wasn’t uncommon to hear someone say, “I don’t care about those i-whatevers! People can look at my website on Internet Explorer 6 on Windows like I do!” That was pretty common for many years. It took lots of people deciding that it was important to view websites in many different ways. It took smart and dedicated people working really hard to make it work. And they did it because they thought it was worth the effort.

We invest in what we think is important. And we tend to ignore whatever we think is unimportant.

The early church had a lot of debates – and fights – about what was important. It’s a good thing we got that all figured out, right? Churches never debate what’s important anymore, because we all agree, right? Yeah, right!

In our first text, they were debating how much of the Jewish religion and culture the Greek converts to Christianity should embrace. How much did the Greeks need to look and act and eat like the Jews to be included? How much did the Greeks need to be Jewish to be worth the effort?

And here’s what we heard: “As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there  is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all  of you are one in Christ Jesus.”

Baptism into Christ. That’s it. That’s all that was required to be considered worth the effort – to be considered important. Jews couldn’t lord over Greeks. Free couldn’t lord over slaves. Men couldn’t lord over women. “For all of you are one in Christ Jesus.”

That sounds like the websites to me. Before Jesus, Jews were the only ones with a clear view of God. After Jesus, the Gospel exploded across the world. It was important for Jews to know Jesus. It was important for Greeks to know Jesus. Phillip was sent to an Ethiopian, because it was important for Africans to know Jesus. Thomas and Bartholomew went East, because it was important for India to know Jesus.

An Ethiopian sees Jesus from a different perspective than a Roman. But it’s worth the effort to give both of them a clear view of Jesus from wherever they’re standing. A website might look different on an iPhone and a Windows desktop computer, but it’s the same website content. Someone from India and Jerusalem might approach Jesus a little differently, but they can still approach Jesus – the same person, the same content, the same God, the same Spirit.

The Choice

In our second text today, we heard Paul write to the Philippians, “Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.”

The interesting assumption here is that we have a choice. We have the choice to think like Jesus. We have the choice to look to the interests of others. We have the choice to do all the things Paul says in this chapter. We have the choice to encourage others in Christ. We have the choice to console others in love. We have the choice to see each other as sharing the same Holy Spirit. We have the choice to demonstrate compassion and sympathy. We have choices!

Our first text said we have clothed ourselves in Christ. Did you choose your clothes today? I’m certainly glad someone chose clothes for you! I’m glad we all chose not to have birthday suit Sunday! Tomorrow, can you choose different clothes? What about the day after that? Can you have a third set of clothes? Heaven help us, so many choices!

As often as we clothe ourselves, we can choose to put on Christ for the day or not. As often as we clothe ourselves, we can choose to demonstrate compassion and sympathy and love or not. As often as we clothe ourselves, we can choose to see the same Spirit at work in other people or not. As often as we clothe ourselves, we can choose to be as humble and low as Christ or puff ourselves up as more important than other people. As often as we clothe ourselves, we can see other people as worth the effort or not.

It’s a choice. It’s a daily choice. Are other people worth the effort, or not? That’s a daily choice.

Late last year we had our sermon series about dreams, and we encouraged you to put your dreams on the board out there. I typed all of them up for the annual report, so if you haven’t taken a close look you can see them there. But let me share a few of them with you, and see if you can pick up a theme.

“That we would all be a family.”

“Be well, be you, be strong, help one another, be tolerant!”

“Communicate, work together as a family, be a ‘we’ and not an ‘I/me’, remember we are a family and that there is more that unites us than divides us!”

“More diverse members and families”

“Everyone to be kind and healthy.”

“After church pot lucks and chili lunches! Yum!”

I would say there’s a clear dream for this church to have real relationships that are like a family embracing one another in love. But that takes an important choice. That takes an important choice over and over and over again – as often as we clothe ourselves! We have to see each other as a church family for that to work. We have to see other people in our community as part of our family if we want them to join us at those pot lucks and chili lunches and Thanksgiving meals and Community dinners.

Do you have any family members you wouldn’t choose as a friend? Do you still try to treat them as family? That’s a choice!

When you invite family over for Thanksgiving or Christmas or a birthday party, do you get your house ready? Do you prepare some food? Do you pick up? Do you clean? Do you try to make them comfortable? If someone with food allergies comes over, do you think about the menu differently? If there are babies coming over, do you try to find baby gates? How do you get ready for family or special guests? My family always tries to put on our nice attitudes, not just our nice table settings and clothes.

That’s what you do when the person coming over is worth the effort. Even if you wouldn’t choose them as a friend, family is worth some effort.

Is the person sitting in another pew worth the effort? Are they church family? I choose to say yes.

Is the person who is still watching online at home worth the effort? Are they church family? I choose to say yes.

Is the person who lives three blocks away from the church worth the effort? What about the people in the apartments nearby? What about the downtown condos? What about Highlands Ranch or Ken Caryl or Centennial or Englewood or Lone Tree? I choose to say yes.

Is the person who looks different or sounds different or dresses differently or smells different worth the effort? Are they church family? I choose to say yes.

Martin Luther King, Jr, said, “We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools.” To have real relationships, we have to choose to see other people as worth the effort. As family. As a brother or sister. That’s what Jesus said about us – we’re his brothers and sisters and family.

Transforming Love

Martin Luther King also gave us a great summary of how to bridge the chasms that might spring up between us. He said “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.” Let me say that again: “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.” Force can defeat an enemy, but love is the only way to turn an enemy into a friend.

Jesus could have defeated us. Jesus could have judged us. Jesus could have overcome us. But he chose to love us so that he could call us friends and family. Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.

So if you feel like we are divided, how can you step into that gap with love? That’s the only way to transform an enemy into a friend.

If you feel like you wish more people were at this church, how can you expand your love to more people? How can you make more people feel like friends and family?

If you feel like you want more families at this church, how can you expand your love to more families in your neighborhood? How can you make more people feel like friends and family?

If you feel like you want more people to think “we” instead of “I,” how can you expand your love to them? How can you make them feel like friends and family?

Love is the only way to transform people. There are other ways to win, other ways to defeat or overcome someone. But love is the only way to transform an enemy into a friend. That’s what Jesus did for us. Jesus chose to see us as worth the effort, as friends, as family. Will we make the same choice to see other people as worth the effort, as friends, as family? Will we choose that as frequently as put on our clothes?

Love is what motivates the Community Dinner team. Their simple mission is to feed the hungry and lonely. That love infuses the Community Dinner and makes people feel like friends and family. That same love infuses the Thanksgiving Dinner team who give a reason to be thankful to hundreds of people each Thanksgiving.

Love is what motivates our Whiz Kids tutors and volunteers. Love is what turns “those kids” into “our kids.” Love is what motivates tutors to pick up and drop off kids instead of saying, “Well they should come to us if they want tutoring!”

Love is what motivates me to volunteer at the Options School in the maker space. The Option School was designed to teach social-emotional skills to students struggling with academic, attendance, and attitude problems. And the #1 objective is to develop a strong sense of community and a support system for all students. Students who might be just kicked out or abandoned as too difficult have a community of teachers who choose to say, “you’re with the effort.” Love transforms.

Love is what motivates us to try to engage with the Afghan refugees resettling in our area. We’ll be collecting donations for welcome baskets soon, and we’re also exploring a partnership with some local churches to support a family being resettled very nearby. Jesus said this in Matthew 25:

“34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

It’s a choice to see other people as worth the effort. It’s a choice to see the least of these brothers and sisters of Jesus as worth the effort. It’s a choice to transform with love. It’s a choice to engage instead of sitting back like back seat drivers and Monday morning quarterbacks. It’s a choice, as Paul says in our text today, to “Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.”

Summary

Sisters and brothers, we have a choice. Who will we see as worth the effort? Who will we see as friend and family? Who will we engage with love? That’s a choice. Just as much as it was a choice for websites to see phones and tablets and desktops and Windows and Mac and iOS and Android as worth the effort. It’s a choice for us to see other people as worth the effort, as worth our love, as friend and family. Jesus chose that when he saw you and me. What will we choose? Amen.

View the Sermon

First Reading = Luke 3:15-17, 21-22 (Baptism of the Lord Sunday)

15As the people were filled with expectation, and all were questioning in their hearts concerning John, whether he might be the Messiah, 16John answered all of them by saying, “I baptize you with water; but one who is more powerful than I is coming; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. 17His winnowing fork is in his hand, to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.”

21Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, 22and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.”

Introduction

We are starting a new series for the next several weeks. I have felt strongly that we need to place our focus and emphasis on relationships this year. Restoring relationships, re-investing in relationships, forming new relationships, relationships with family and friends and church members and our community. Relationships are the medium through which Jesus typically works, and that medium has been stretched and torn during this strange time.

So we’re going to spend the next several weeks talking about real relationships. We’re going to give you principles for relating with each other in love, decency, respect, and honesty. We’re going to move beyond “how’s the weather!” And if relationships are where Jesus is on the move, that’s where we need to be focusing as well.

Today we’re going to start off by talking about how to accept ambiguity. I have a friend who is an economist, and I like to tease him sometimes. Because a lot of economic theories start off by assuming a rational actor. So I tell him, “I’ll let you know when I find one of those.” People aren’t fully-integrated rational beings that are explainable through assertions and rules and formulas. People are complicated. People are ambiguous.

And we’re going to lean into that instead of ignoring it. Let’s start by looking at one of the complicated disciples: Simon Peter.

Sermon Reading = Matthew 16:13-23

13Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” 14And they said, “Some say John the Baptist, but others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” 15He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” 17And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. 18And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. 19I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” 20Then he sternly ordered the disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah. 21From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. 22And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” 23But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.”

What Ambiguity?

My corporate sponsorship with Disney requires me to insert a certain number of Marvel and Star Wars references into my sermons every year, so let’s get it started. Pop quiz! Call it out if you know the answers.

Superman’s secret identity is: Clark Kent!

Spider Man’s secret identity is: Peter Parker!

Darth Vader’s secret identity is: Anakin Skywalker!

Nicely done. But let’s think about those secret identities. Is Peter Parker really Peter Parker, or is he really Spider Man?

Is Clark Kent really Clark Kent, or is he really Super Man? Or is he really his Kryptonian identity? Does anyone know Superman’s Kryptonian name? Kal-El!

Is Anakin Skywalker a good little boy from a desert planet, a Clone Wars hero, a galactic super-villain Sith Lord, or the Chosen One who destroyed the evil Emperor at the end?

Those questions have been the fodder for countless comic books and shows and movies and videogames and whatever else they can get people to buy. There is no definitive answer. There is a fundamental “yes…but…” to all of those aspects of their identities. They are ambiguous.

One of the characters in popular contemporary novelist Jonathan Franzen’s novel Freedom, Joey Berglund, reflects on life and identity by referring to selfhood as “a collection of contradictory potential someones.”

Let me say that again because I like it: selfhood is “a collection of contradictory potential someones.”

I sometimes say that it’s good my wife didn’t meet me when we were in middle school, because I was a painfully shy uber-geek with a crudely macabre sense of humor and a not-so-subtle sense of intellectual superiority. I am no longer that person. But in some senses I still am. That past is still bouncing around in my brain and heart somewhere. It’s part of my collection of contradictory potential someones. It’s part of my ambiguity.

Peter’s Ambiguity

And of all of Jesus’ disciples, surely Peter embodied this ambiguity. In our text today, we see Peter’s incredible faith! In verse 16, “Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah!… And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it.”

That’s high praise from Jesus! Peter was perfectly on point in his faith and in his words and in his actions in these verses. Way to go, Peter!

But just a few verses later in our text, when Jesus was telling them that he had to die, “Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.”

Ouch! In just a few verses, Peter was the foundational rock of the church and the embodiment of Satan! Peter’s got range, man! And the difficult thing to realize is that both of these are true at the same time. Peter is simultaneously incredibly faithful and totally missing the bigger point of Jesus. Peter is simultaneously the one who stepped out of the boat to walk on water and the one who denied even knowing Jesus three times at his crucifixion. He was complicated. He was ambiguous. Just like us.

This has been one of my gripes about how we interpret important people for a long time. It feels like we just try to boil people down into a caricature. A person who did some noteworthy bad things must be a mustachioed villain dressed in black at all times and in all ways in every phase of their lives. And a person who did some noteworthy good things must be Charlton Heston’s Moses – strong-jawed, good-looking, confident, and clearly good in all times and in all ways. But if you read the Bible, you see that Moses was also a murderer. He is simultaneously the great prophet and someone with a vengeful and murderous past. Both are true! He was complicated! He was ambiguous! And he was loved by God all the same.

Our Ambiguity

It’s tough to find anyone who’s all good or all bad. A person can do something incredible and be a jerk. A person can fail morally in one weak moment and be an otherwise honest and trustworthy person. We, like Peter, contain contradictory potential someones within us. We are complicated. We are ambiguous. And, like Peter, we are loved by Jesus all the same.

After the Romans conquered Greece, they became very fond of Greek culture. Greek artifacts and imports became marks of status among the Roman elite – especially marble sculptures. But many of the sculptures were a few hundred years old. And no one had invented bubble wrap yet, so things got damaged in shipping.

So some merchants discovered that they could fill in the chipped pieces with bits of wax. At the time of purchase, it looked perfect. But the wax would harden and discolor over time, and it would be obvious that the sculpture had been hastily repaired.

To distinguish their fully-authentic, non-waxed sculptures, merchants labeled them as “without wax.” In Latin, that’s “sine cera.” And that’s where we get the word “sincere.” Original. Whole. Not waxed.

But we just heard Peter’s story. He had some wax in his life. He wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t unvarnished. He wasn’t without blemish. He wasn’t “sine cera.” He wasn’t perfectly sincere. He was complicated. He was ambiguous. He had some wax in his life.

I have some wax in my life. I have some blemishes. I’m not perfect. I’m not perfectly sincere. I’m not “sine cera.” I’m complicated. I’m ambiguous. I have some wax in my life.

How about you? Do you have a collection of contradictory potential someones inside you? Do you have any wax? Are you complicated? Are you ambiguous? Are you “sine cera”, or do you have some blemishes and wax in your life?

But here’s the important part. If you’ve been making your shopping list in your head for the last couple of minutes, come back and pay attention. This is important.

We are all blemished. We are all complicated. We are all ambiguous. And that’s OK. Jesus knows all of that (including the stuff we have successfully hidden from ourselves), and he loves us. You and I are fully known – wax and all. And we are fully loved. This is not a sermon about perfecting your blemishes. This is a sermon about accepting people’s ambiguity – including our own. Because Jesus accepts our ambiguity. And who are we to argue with him?

I’ve heard from therapists and counselors that the lies we believe about ourselves all boil down to three fundamental lies. These aren’t true, but we believe versions of these. Here they are: “I’m helpless. I’m worthless. I’m unlovable.” Those are lies! But we believe them about ourselves. “I’m helpless. I’m worthless. I’m unlovable.” Those are lies. Do you believe a version of one of those about yourself right now?

Jesus confronts those lies. Jesus didn’t say I’m helpless. He said his followers would do even greater things than he did! Jesus didn’t say I’m worthless. He sacrificed his life for me – that’s how valuable I am! Jesus didn’t say I’m unlovable. Jesus said he would be with me always, even to the end of the age!

So accept your own ambiguity, your own wax, because Jesus does. And who are we to argue with him?

Others’ Ambiguity

So it’s a lie to say, “I’m helpless.” It’s a lie to say, “I’m worthless.” It’s a lie to say, “I’m unlovable.” Are you with me?

So then isn’t it also a lie to say, “He’s helpless?” Isn’t it also a lie to say, “She’s worthless?” Isn’t it also a lie to say, “They’re unlovable?”

Jesus saw our blemishes and saw our wax – we didn’t fool him – and he decided to buy us anyway. He saw the wax and the marble at the same time. He saw the complexity. He saw the ambiguity. He bought us anyway.

Jesus saw the same complexity, the same ambiguity, the same mixture of marble and wax in other people. And he bought them anyway, too.

They’re not helpless. They’re not worthless. They’re not unlovable. Jesus bought them, too. And who are we to argue with him?

Part of having real relationships is accepting ambiguity and complexity – our own and other people’s. This doesn’t require you to pretend that wax is marble. Jesus didn’t pretend. But this does require seeing the value in other people – wax and all – and offering the love of Christ.

I’ve read before that there are an estimated 33,000 Christian denominations in the world. If you just want to count Presbyterian denominations in the US, I count at least thirteen that are noteworthy enough to have thousands of members. Over the last several years, there has definitely been some migration of the saints between those Presbyterian denominations.

I don’t think that’s all bad. Sometimes we need to be where we feel at home. God created a wide array of plants and animals and rocks and trees and kinds of people. Maybe there need to be different kinds of churches for different kinds of people. That’s not all bad.

But I do believe it’s bad when we see those other churches, those other takes on how to be faithful to Jesus, as helpless, worthless, or unlovable. Jesus bought them, too. And who are we to argue with him?

There might be people in your family who are complex, ambiguous, a lot of wax and not a lot of marble that you can see. They aren’t helpless. They aren’t worthless. They aren’t unlovable. Jesus saw their wax and their marble for what they were, and he bought them, too.

There might be neighbors who are complex, ambiguous, a lot of wax and not a lot of marble that you can see. They aren’t helpless. They aren’t worthless. They aren’t unlovable. Jesus saw their wax and their marble for what they were, and he bought them, too.

People are complex. People are ambiguous. People have some marble, and people have some wax. Having real relationships means seeing the marble and the wax for what they are, while also loving people enough to accept their complexity and ambiguity at the same time.

And guess what? They’re having to accept your ambiguity, too. To sit here today, you’re having to accept my ambiguity. <LOOK AROUND WORRIED> But I hope my wax isn’t showing today!?!

Summary

Sisters and brothers, you aren’t helpless. That’s a lie. You aren’t worthless. That’s a lie. You aren’t unlovable. That’s a lie. But other people aren’t helpless, worthless, or unlovable, either. It’s a lie to say that about them, too.

Jesus sees our wax. Jesus sees our marble. Jesus buys us and loves us anyway. May we demonstrate the same acceptance of ambiguity in our real relationships. Amen.